Willed to Love Read online

  Willed to Love

  Michelle Houston

  Published by Phaze Books

  Also by Michelle Houston

  A Bid for Love

  A Change of Pace

  Blood Slave

  Caging the Tiger

  Diggin' Up Bones

  Embracing the Leopard

  Enslaving Heaven

  Fated to Be

  Her Best Man

  Kinky Girls Do

  Parallel Attraction

  Phaze in Verse

  Playing For Keeps

  Taming the Wolf

  The Life Not Lived

  Unleashing the Jaguar

  This is an explicit and erotic novel

  intended for the enjoyment

  of adult readers. Please keep

  out of the hands of children.

  www.Phaze.com

  Willed to Love copyright 2010 by Michelle Houston

  All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  A Phaze Production

  Phaze Books

  6470A Glenway Avenue, #109

  Cincinnati, OH 45211-5222

  Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC.

  To order additional copies of this book, contact:

  [email protected]

  www.Phaze.com

  Cover art © 2010 Michelle Lee

  Edited by Judy Bagshaw

  eBook ISBN-13: 978-1-60659-941-9

  First Edition – May 2010

  Printed in the United States of America

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  Warning: the unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

  Ashley leaned back in her chair and tipped her head, subtly wiping the tears that were welling in her eyes. As various family members filed into the room and claimed seats, she made sure not to meet anyone’s eyes. She wasn’t wanted, and she knew it. Nervous, she twisted the simple gold band on her ring finger, waiting until the lawyer decided to finally start telling everyone what they got in the will.

  The chair next to her creaked when weight settled in to it, and a firm hand clasped over hers startling her. Looking up into her soon to be ex’s warm eyes, she found herself unable to look away. Her heart ached with the need to collapse in his arms and cry out her pain. His paternal grandmother had been the only person in his family that had accepted her, had made her feel welcome. Now the grand lady was dead, and Ashley was surrounded by hostility. She could only imagine what Devon’s family was thinking, wondering why she was present.

  In fact, Ashley was having that same thought.

  “She loved you, you know?”

  Pinching her trembling lips together, Ashley nodded. The sympathy in Devon’s voice was almost her undoing. He had lost his grandmother, and here he was trying to comfort her. How she loved him.

  Glancing around the room though, she saw the curled lips and flared nostrils, the squinted eyes and the gazes that wouldn’t make contact. His family hadn’t changed their opinion of her and she doubted they ever would.

  Her inability to provide him with an heir was only one of the reasons. As the thought entered her mind, a flash of pain followed. Pulling her hand away, Ashley broke eye contact and curled into herself, the way she’d had to after her pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Devon had been out of the country, and she’d been alone, surrounded by people who didn’t give a shit about her.

  Two days she’d lain in a hospital bed before someone thought to let his grandmother know what happened, and she’d had to be the one to call him and let him know that she had miscarried.

  “Well, since everyone is here, I guess we can get started.” As the lawyer started pulling papers out of a briefcase, those that were milling around the room settled into available chairs or leaned against walls. Only the warmth coming from next to her where Devon sat kept her in her chair.

  She didn’t want to be there, but the lawyer had insisted that her presence was vital. But as he droned on, detailing the dozens upon dozens of bequeaths to various family members, Ashley was giving serious consideration to sneaking out when her name was called.

  “And to my grandson Devon and granddaughter-in-law Ashley, I leave my house, the remainder of my trust-fund from my father, and a variety of jewelry and other personal items that are itemized, on the condition that they spend three months together in the house before perusing their divorce further. Should they decline, they both forfeit the right to anything from my estate. Should they agree, then all previous bequeaths to any member of the family are conditional upon their agreement to support Devon and his wife’s attempted reconciliation. Any attempt to convince them not to reconcile, now or in the future, will be seen as an automatic forfeit of claim to any part of my estate, as well as an agreement to reimburse the estate for anything previously accepted.”

  Ashley almost giggled at the sudden silence. The old adage about a pin dropping came to mind, momentarily cutting through her grief. Devon’s grandmother had been big on speaking her mind, using old age as her justification. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that her will reflected her personality.

  “In addition, should Ashley agree to spend three months with Devon, an additional settlement for her, including property for an artist studio, has been arranged regardless of the outcome of their attempted reconciliation.”

  Ashley felt like a clamp had wrapped around her heart. Devon’s grandmother knew all of her hot buttons, and just where to push to get what she wanted. But despite the incentive, Ashley didn’t know if she would be able to do it. She still loved Devon with every fiber of her being, and the idea of spending three months ‘working on their marriage’ was enough to rip out her heart.

  She desperately wanted to reconcile with him, but the same thing was holding her back each time—his family.

  “What do you say Ash?”

  Looking into his blue eyes, she wanted to scream yes. His firm lips, slightly parted, begged for her to kiss him. Her pulse raced remembering the last time they had made love, just months before. It had been the night before he left on his business trip.

  She had stripped for him, shy about the changes to her body, emboldened by the desire she had seen in his eyes. His mouth and hands had worshipped her, caressing her curves and the slight budge of her belly. Her breasts responded to the memory and grew heavy. Sitting there at the reading of his grandmother’s will and getting aroused wasn’t her idea of a good time, but Devon had always had that effect on her. She could be doing almost anything, and he could get her pulse racing.

  Ignoring everyone else in the room, she focused on him. According to how the will was worded, the family would be complete idiots to interfere now, and Ashley knew them to be anything but idiots. Many of them had gone to Ivy League colleges, and currently ran their own businesses, or were firmly planted in the area of politics.

  Cold, yes. Idiots? Not by a long shot.

  “I know this means a lot to you Devon, since it is part of your inheritance. But do you really want to do this?”

  Devon’s eyes clouded with pain, and Ashley almost broke down herself
.

  “You’re the one who walked out on me Ash, not the other way around. Remember?”

  She remembered all too well: the painful decision to leave, despite how much she loved him. The atmosphere they had lived in was emotionally poisonous and he wasn’t willing to just walk away. She had tried to make him see how much she hated living under his family’s thumb. Losing the baby had been her breaking point.

  So she had packed up and left him, taking only her cherished belongings.

  And now the one person she had loved in his family was pushing her back into the situation, but with a twist. None of the family could reject her, or push Devon to leave her. She would be permitted as part of the family, even if not welcomed. But could she survive such a situation? Would her creativity, her passion for art, and her love for Devon survive?

  “I am also instructed to give you this before you decide.” Ashley glanced away from Devon to find the lawyer holding a sealed envelope out to her. Hands trembling, she reached for it, and had to read it three times before she could make sense of it. When she did, the enormity of the situation hit her like a cement truck.

  Carefully she folded the letter and put it back into the envelope, then tucked it into her purse. Looking the lawyer in the eyes she told him, “I agree to the terms of the will.”

  “Very well then, here’re the keys to the house and please, call on me if you have any questions. As for everyone else, that does it. There are a few more bequeaths, but they are for household staff, some of the charities Mrs. Monroe worked with, and so on. Nothing I am sure you wish to be bothered with.”

  Judging by the speed at which everyone left the room, the lawyer was right. Ashley also had a suspicion that no one else caught the irony in his tone either. Then again, a quick glance at Devon confirmed that he had gotten it. His lips were pressed so tightly together they were turning white. Not from anger though, judging by the faint shaking of his shoulder, but from trying not to laugh.

  Excusing herself, Ashley stood and moved to the doorway, Devon fast on her heels.

  “Ash, wait.”

  Keeping her back to him as she twisted her hands, holding herself together by sheer willpower, she told him she would be gathering her things and meeting him at the house in a few days, where they would begin their three months together.

  “I’ll drive you.”

  “Devon, I—” Her voice cracked and she had to take a deep breath, then another, and another. His hand, so firm and gentle, settled on her shoulder, silently offering her comfort that she wasn’t sure she could handle. She just wanted to get away from everyone and lick her wounds.

  “I need some time. This is a lot to take in, and I just need some time alone.”

  “I—” Now it was his turn to pause and clear his throat. “I didn’t ask Nana to do this, but I’m glad she did. I’ve missed you Ash.”

  They stood silently for a few moments before the warmth of his hand left her shoulder and she could hear the soft thud of his steps down the hallway, moving away from her. Forcing one foot in front of the other, she headed in the other direction, not stopping until she was in her car.

  * * * *

  It only took her two days to gather her things and put most of her affairs in order for a three month leave. Her boss was pissed, to say the least, but given Devon’s family’s influence, he wasn’t about to cause her any problems. So her leave was considered bereavement time, and they were leaving it at that.

  As she pulled into the drive leading up to Mrs. Monroe’s house, she couldn’t help reflecting how she had come full circle. Almost six years before she had driven up this path for the first time. She had worked at a catering service at the time, and was part of the staff brought in for a fall party launching the political career of one of ‘the grandchildren’, as Devon’s grandmother referred to them. Never by name, except Devon.

  A few hours in, the old lady had cornered her and ordered her to keep her company. Her feet killing her, thanks to the high heels she had worn to counter her five foot five frame, Ashley had been more than grateful for the excuse to sit down for a while. It was while they had been discussing philosophy that Devon had gone looking for Nana, and found her sitting in the corner of her library giggling like a school girl with Ashley.

  Sparks had flown, and not good ones either. Her heart raced just remembering facing him down, his six foot frame dwarfing her as he demanded to know what she wanted with his grandmother. Temper flaring, she had fired back that if he hadn’t left her to seek companionship from strangers, he would have a better ability to watch over her.

  As she pulled up to the house, she could almost hear Devon’s voice suddenly changing from confrontation to admiration, and then he had asked her out. Of course she had turned him down, which had started their whirlwind courtship that finally cumulated with their marriage a year later.

  A little over six months later, she had wanted out. Not out of Devon’s life, but out of the cycle his family had fallen in to. She had spent every waking moment being groomed to be a socially acceptable wife, and failed on all counts. She laughed too loud. She cried in public. She wore clothing with too much color and not enough style. She actually dared to laugh in a senator’s face. All sins in the Monroe’s eyes.

  Feeling her whole body trembling, Ashley climbed out of the car and gently closed the door. She desperately wanted to jump back into the car, slam in behind her and peel rubber all the way back down the driveway; because she had just noticed Devon standing in the shadows, watching her. Running a hand through her riot of curls, she tried to tame her red locks without much success as she walked across the drive and up the stairs.

  As she reached the porch, uncertainty clawed at her. What should she do? He was still her husband, but they had been waiting out the separation requirements until they could file for divorce. Two months they hadn’t spoken too each other, except through lawyers and his grandmother. Yet the love was still there, as was the almost insatiable desire that arched between them.

  “Hello Ash.” As he held out his hand, she had no choice but to clasp it. Her heart demanded that she not do anything further to hurt him, but her head reminded her that she couldn’t live the life his family demanded of her. Although, she did have hope that his grandmother’s will had changed some things, there were some members of the family wealthy enough that they could shrug off the restrictions and do as they damn well pleased.

  For some, it wouldn’t matter either way, wealth or not. She wasn’t of their class, and they weren’t about to accept her. Ironically, it was the wives that were the most judgmental. Devon’s brothers, uncles and cousins seemed to treat her with a casual indifference.

  As her hand slid into his warm one, he used it to pull her close and wrapped her in his arms. Sinking into his embrace, she allowed herself to close her eyes and just feel for a moment; the heat of his body, the beat of his heart, the rush of need and desire, the feeling of being loved and protected. She wrapped her arms around his neck and just held on, as he held her close, his hands warm against her hips.

  The loss of his grandmother was killing her slowly. She had cried herself to sleep the last two nights, and knew she probably would again tonight. Despite their age difference, Nana had come to be a good friend, someone she could always turn to, even if she couldn’t bring herself to do so.

  Curled in his arms, she could almost forget the events of the last few months. The first few days of conversations with Devon, as she tried to get him to understand that she couldn’t be the wife he was expected to have. Finally, her heart threatening to rip apart, she had uttered the D word, and the next thing she knew, lawyers were involved and everything was spiraling out of control.

  She had wanted a separation, some time to hear and think. Instead, his family had jumped on her simple question—did Devon want out?—and run with it. Now, standing there in his arms, she had hopes that they could work things out. But she was realistic enough to know it would take time, for both of them.

&
nbsp; All too soon, she forced herself to pull away and forced herself to look him in the eyes. “Well, I guess we need to get me a room picked out.”

  Devon’s eyed hardened with determination, and she had a feeling she wouldn’t like what was coming. “Nana’s will stipulated that we actively work on reconciliation. Separate rooms, and ignoring each other for three months isn’t going to cut it Ash. You’re sleeping in the room with me. Now if you don’t like the one I have picked out, you are welcome to have our things moved to another bedroom. But we are staying together.”

  Nope, she didn’t like it at all. But remembering the letter from his grandmother tempered her tongue and she managed to just nod. Damn the old meddling woman. She knew just where to pull and push to get her way.

  * * * *

  Ashley’s first evening in the house was outside of anything she had expected. Rather than treat her as an interloper, Nana’s staff welcomed her, and even pampered her. Some she remembered from her visits with Devon’s grandmother. The old butler, Bernard, was a particular favorite of hers. She never would have guessed it to look at him, but the white-haired gentleman’s gentleman was just that. And he could gossip and giggle with the best of them.

  With a sigh, she leaned back against the chair in the library and closed her eyes, just letting the peace of the house soak into her pores.

  “Oh come now my dear, surely you can do better than that.”

  Ashley’s eyes flared open, only to find herself still alone in the room. She would have sworn she had heard the lingering echo of Lillian’s laughter in the room. Wiping away a tear, she closed her eyes again, relaxed and just let herself remember.

  “Oh come now my dear, surely you can do better than that. It’s been so long since I’ve had any decent girl talk.” Looking at Lillian, Ashley couldn’t imagine the dignified lady ever discussing such things as sex and orgasms, but that was exactly what she was aiming for.